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English discussion room => Chit Chat => Subiect creat de: Ezo din 02 Septembrie, 2009, 10:58:22 a.m.
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Hi there!
I just found this piece of advice for men who get dumped (http://www.lovetime.ro/community/ai-nevoie-de-un-sfat/utile-despartirea-ghid-de-supravietuire-%28pentru-barbati%29/). Because it is already written in romanian, I thought about translating it into english, for my friends from abroad. Maybe it could help you once. Anyway, I just wish you would never come to that point… I know it’s hard, and for women as well (when they get dumped). So, there it is:
She dumped him and he feels abandonned and with no future. He’s panicked and he would do whatever it takes to bring her back, from calling her at night, drunk, to apologize, to writting emails in which he begs for another chance. But no matter how much he tries, the girl has made up her mind, and he will never find out again that assuring coin of paradise, in which he lived without worrying.
1) Take her down from the pedestal
Don’t idolize her as if she was the wonder of the word, for… if she dumped you, it’s obvious that she was interested in something else, anyway, and not in what you could have given to her. Don’t take long looks at photos with her. Don’t rush to answer her phones / emails (and best, delete her phone numbers / mail adress from your agenda). Anyway, she doesn’t deserve your attention anymore.
This one is good, as long as deleting phone numbers and mail adresses really means not searching for the other one anymore, not bothering him any longer.
2) Don’t keep in touch with her anymore
The impulse to call her is big, so is to email her. Or maybe you are tempted to say to her how beautiful your memories are? No way! This proves that you are still hopping, that you are still longing. And anyway, women are tired of those who are after them and don’t let them breathe, so it won’t help you, anyway.
3) The important thing is to have alternatives
To evoid suffering, you should always keep in your telephone some numbers of girls that you used to like. Even if nothing ever materialized, or if it was something quick and intense [and let's hope that it was before the current relationship, and not in the meanwhile - or else, who knows, maybe this is the reason for the break up], maybe one of them is thinking about you. Call her and get out for a coffee, it is very good for the self image; and when you see that you are appreciated for being what you are, you will get more quickly over the ex- who wouldn’t appreciate anything anymore.
Hmmm… girls that you used to like? Doesn’t it look rather as a sort of lie? You should give yourself time to think about what happened, about what didn’t go right, and try not to make the same mistakes again. The next girl that will manage to win your heart should have the right to be loved for being what SHE is, and not for making you this favour of replacing your lost love!
4) Enjoy your freedom
It is an extension of point 3). Try to make new friends, meet other girls. Don’t attend no more places that you used to attend together, and don’t go out with her friends. Enjoy life and consider that, the time you used to spend together, maybe it’s better that it ended sooner, than turning into a suffering and into a long agony. Try to hang up with another girl and sleep with her. Nothing will make you fell more man than a new woman in your bed.
And if you dare, you could even try to seduce a girl about whom you know that she hates. It will make you feel so good.
What a misogyny! Or maybe you think that the girls you long to sleep with, so you can feel a real man (yeah, right), don’t have feelings? This would be the worst thing to do after a break up - to seduce other girl(s) just to get them into your bed, so you could let them leave broken-hearted after “a very nice night together”!
5) Remember bad times…
…and enjoy how it feels good not having to bear something like that anymore. You’re off of it!
6) Write down your agony
Writting makes you feel better and releaves you. Write down everything that you feel, every word that you would say to her and every thing that you would want to do together. One moment, looking at your notes, you will realise that it’s not worth it to torment yourself like that. Yes, it hurt, but this is it! Thank God that from now on, another loser will have to bear all her frills, every trifle and carry her affective luggage. Did you have super orgasm with her? Don’t worry. Kamasutra hasn’t been updated for ages, and now that you know what you like, it’s much easier to find it.
Yet, another one! But considering that many couple separations are because of a bad sexual life, let’s give this credit to the poor dumped boy. He has the right to search for another one just as good in bed, or even better.
7) Trow away everything that reminds you of her
Trowing away everything that represents her is a symbolic action for giving up to her. It feels good to organise your stuff and keep only what defines YOU, and not HER - this would only dishearten you. Trow away everything, someone will be happy one day to fill the empty space.
I don’t know about trowing away things… It’s like erasing a part of your life, a part of your own memories. I think the best thing is trying to keep in mind the best of this relationship and always remember the lessons that you have just learned, in the end. This should be helpful in your next relationships. Or else, you are very likely to commit the same mistakes again and come to the same end…
Hope this was helpful! Good luck for the future! ;)